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I remember the feeling as early as kindergarten. It was an obsession and compulsion. I was obsessively focused on my “love” object. And compulsively moving towards this love object. Even then it was the engine that drove me. Always looking for the target, always looking for the love and attention. I had one boy I focused on for most of my grade school years; like a radar. So much of my energy and thoughts were directed at this boy: where he was at all times, who he was friends with, what his extracurricular activities were, was he paying attention to me? How he treated me on any given day was everything.
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