Original Articles and Resources
Ruby taught me about trust. And I didn’t like it. I took it very personal and got my feelings hurt. ‘Why do I have to work for it?? People meet me and trust me right away! Why not now??’
Ruby is a dog. She is part lab, part Great Pyrenees, and at least part coyote. You can see the coyote in how she slinks around.
I was told that she liked me right away by her owner, that I got special treatment very quickly. But I guess this wasn’t enough for me. Why am I hurt by her not trusting me immediately? Why did I need it right away? I am used to gaining trust in people quickly. Come to think of it, I’ve done this with other animals too. And if they don’t like me right away I’ll avoid them. Something about it hurts.
I’ve been not journaling for most of my life. But with firm conviction at age 27.
My first sponsor, Lori, was this vision. She was a strawberry blonde Stevie Nicks type in a 12-Step meeting. A former model and actress. She was a devotee of the Goddess. A documentary filmmaker. She owned a home in The Highlands neighborhood of Denver with a fairy garden out back. She helped bring the magic back into my life. She was very dedicated to her spiritual life and would wake up every morning and journal, meditate, and do yoga. I wanted to want to do that really badly. I wanted to be like her in many ways. She gave me permission to start being who I really was, which is what I admire in her. She was really good at being herself.
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