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Inside each of us is the child we once were. This child is brought to the surface by the smell of certain things like daffodils, for me. And I am right back at the park of my childhood in spring. This brings a smile to my face and makes me feel light and playful. The same can happen for sights and sounds, people and places, tastes. Some memories make us smile while others make us cringe. Or cry. Or rage.
These painful memories we now recognize as trauma. They could also be called our unhealed wounds. They are experiences frozen in time because we did not have the resources to process them. So they wait. These memories wait for us, embodied in our inner child, to be recognized and healed. Unconsciously, we go out into the world looking for someone or something to heal these wounds for us. Unconsciously, we go out into the world as a wounded child hidden beneath the body of an adult.
I don’t know about you, but when I was first presented with this “Inner Child” theory and practice I pushed it away as “stupid”, “frou-frou”, or “ridiculous”. I ask you to consider this: Have you ever felt small, ashamed, and wanting to disappear when you’ve been criticized by a boss? Or a loved one? This is not the response of a functional adult. This is the response of a wounded child. That wounded child was ill-equipped for this world and is looking everywhere for love, safety, and affection. Can you imagine the havoc we wreak on the world because of our wounded inner children? You don’t have to imagine it; you see it!
If you were like me you may have an extremely polished exterior. We seem to suffer more for the façade we try and keep up. I was so ashamed that I was so affected by the world. I wanted so badly to be tough and unaffected. Deep down, it was a good impulse but misguided. I wanted to be untouchable but I only knew that through worldly ways. Through force. The power of force is violent and unsustainable. It seeks to destroy and win always at the expense of others. I was unaware of the power and protection of Divine Love. This love can be tapped into by practicing loving our inner child.
Here is the truth: You are the savior that you are looking for.
Your inner child is waiting for you to love them. When you become willing to be the parent you never had you will be untouchable. You will be able to show up in your relationships in the way you always wanted because you are coming into the present. You are meeting your friends and loved ones as a functioning, thriving adult. And most importantly you will begin to feel safe inside yourself.
There is nothing wrong with needing and wanting things outside of yourself. It is vital to us as humans to learn how to ask for help and receive it. As well as respond to others requests and share with them. The difference is when we try and meet the world as a wounded child and ask it to heal us. Ultimately this is our responsibility. It is our decision to reparent ourselves, to love ourselves. If we cannot find it in ourselves to love our own being and our own inner child we will never let in the love of others. We first have to choose.
You will be amazed at the divine forces that will come to your aid when you make this decision that you are worthy of love. It will come in the form of a book, a podcast, a note from a person, or a call from a friend. It is the paradox. When you become willing to help yourself is when the help arrives! Let’s contrast that to the opposite: Seeking outside of yourself for someone to save you. The thoughts might sound like this, ‘I can’t do this! This isn’t my fault! There’s no way I can change this.’ It is a small shift but a powerful one to say, ‘I can’t do this on my own. I need help. Please show me the way. I am willing to love myself. I am willing to do anything.’
What I ask you to do today is to be willing to rescue yourself. I want you to imagine your inner child now. They will appear to you. The exact right age that is right for you right now. See them now. Can you imagine withholding the love they so desperately need right now, one moment longer? Say it to them now aloud: “I am here. I’ve lost my way but I am coming back. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to care for you. But I am learning. I can do better now because I know better.” Just feel how that is to say it aloud, to acknowledge your inner child. Breathe. Stay with it a moment.
There is a world of stories inside you just like the one you saw with your inner child today. You can change your life. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. Come on back home to yourself. One day at a time you can do this.
If this work speaks to you contact me for more help. Or see my resources page for the multitude of ways you can ask for help and receive it.
Blessings, dear ones.
A therapist in Northern California offering free resources that help you heal your inner child and restore intuition.